I'm trying to make a difference in this world. I'm trying to keep philosophy alive. I'm trying to influence your mind all the while mine is traveling an a billion directions at once.
I believe a little insanity is a good thing.
I'm inspired by life and I'm inspired by brains and nature and love and happiness and obsessiveness and anything else that's in this universe and outside of it. I think too much. I write compulsively. I don't want society to stop reading. I don't want society to stop creating. I want to contribute to this planet's literature that is so often hidden under media, pop culture, and other things that won't really matter in fifty years.
These are my thoughts, and I can't control them. I can't control the words that flow out of my brain and through my body.
This is word vomit. And I'm not cleaning it up.
of you
Someone please tell me how I’m already a sophomore in college, because it seems like just last week I was fearing leaving my mom and leaving the town I lived in my entire life. It doesn’t seem like over a year ago that I looked upon the room I had been in since I was playing with dolls and saw my bare walls and filled-to-the-brim boxes. It doesn’t seem like a year has passed since I came into college bright-eyed and innocent, and it doesn’t seem like a year has passed that have made these eyes slightly more hazy and this body slightly less innocent.
I remember all the moments of my first year on my own, my first year of college, my first year in a new town meeting new people and doing new things and experiencing new events. And I see the complete transformation my life has taken and I can’t help but wonder how much different it will be in exactly another year from today. I can’t even imagine the changes, the new people, the new things and the new events that I will experience. I can’t even imagine how many more people will make permanent tattoos or permanent scars on my heart this year, but I’m excited - either way.
In less than two months, I’ll be twenty years old. My teenage years will be gone and missed, and I will enter a new decade of my life. With the label of “twenty” time will bring me into, I will feel both the maturity and the uncomfortable feelings that arise when your youth is snatched away in a matter of one single day that gives you one single age label, which goes to show that time really is fleeting. But, alas, I’m excited.
I remember feeling scared as hell last year - not knowing what I was about to get myself into. I couldn’t sleep last year’s night before the first day of school. I felt butterflies in my stomach and I saw the multitude of scenarios I was making for the upcoming year in my mind. And here I am now, with less butterflies, still constantly inventing events that could happen, but I’m no longer scared. However, I still have no idea what I am about to get myself into. My life could go in any one of the infinity of directions it so chooses, but either way, I’ll embrace it. I’m going to meet new people, and I’m going to do new things, and I’m going to experience new events. Anything could happen, and I’m so fucking excited. Either way.
